


today's quiet

by hailingstars



Series: unbelievably unlikely (febuwhump 2020) [12]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Broken Heart, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Weddings, febuwhump 2020, he's missing Tony, may and happy have their wedding, peter is sad, who can blame him, who isn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22726081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailingstars/pseuds/hailingstars
Summary: May and Happy’s wedding felt more like a funeral, felt like they were burying all the things that were supposed to be instead of celebrating what was to come.It was supposed to be Tony and Pepper exchanging their vows in front of a beautiful, golden lake.It was supposed to be May and Ben growing old together.Peter blinked away tears and tried to focus on the present, on Morgan with her Tony Stark classic sunglasses with red tinted lenses. She wore a tux and shifted on her feet behind Happy as he and May exchanged their vows. She was fidgety, but she was Happy’s only choice for best man.It was supposed to be Tony.ORMay and Happy have their wedding at the lake house, and wants to be happy for her, but he's missing Tony.Febwhump day 14: broken heart
Relationships: Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), Peter Parker & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: unbelievably unlikely (febuwhump 2020) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619662
Comments: 24
Kudos: 166





	today's quiet

The water sparkled gold, just everything else the sunlight drenched.

Gold shone bright in the diamonds on the band that held back May’s veil, in the silver edges of the sunglasses Morgan Stark wore, that had once belonged to her father. As Peter looked out into the crowd of people who sat in white wooden chairs that lined the lawn, he saw little flecks of gold in Pepper’s eyes.

May and Happy’s wedding felt more like a funeral, felt like they were burying all the things that were supposed to be instead of celebrating what was to come.

It was supposed to be Tony and Pepper exchanging their vows in front of a beautiful, golden lake.

It was supposed to be May and Ben growing old together.

Peter blinked away tears and tried to focus on the present, on Morgan with her Tony Stark classic sunglasses with red tinted lenses. She wore a tux and shifted on her feet behind Happy as he and May exchanged their vows. She was fidgety, but she was Happy’s only choice for best man.

It was supposed to be Tony.

May’s maid of honor, however, was never going to be anyone else besides Peter. He supposed he could count that as a win, if he didn’t think about how unfair it was May had to have a second wedding. Even if it was with shared with a great guy like Happy, it just wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.

He blinked away more tears.

It was a beautiful day, he reminded himself. He was happy for May, as he stood by her side while she exchanged her vows with Happy.

He _should_ feel happy. He should smile easier. He shouldn’t be hung up in a bad mood when May was having one of her best days, but he couldn’t pull himself out of it, couldn’t stop himself from obsessing over the empty space on his wrist, where Mr. Stark’s hand-me-down watch usually was.

Peter had lost it, and now it was gone, just like Mr. Stark.

He faked a smile when Happy and May were declared man and wife, when they kissed, and he hoped he could pretend the rest of the night.

*

“Peter.”

He looked up from his phone, pulled off his mindless scrolling daze, and adjusted his back against the tree truck. Morgan stood in front of him, still in her tux and her sunglasses, frowning at him in a way that reminded him of Mr. Stark.

“You promised you would dance with me,” said Morgan. “But all you’re doing is sulking and hiding.”

“What? I’m not…” said Peter, trailing off, deciding he couldn’t deny the sulking part. He wasn’t that good at pretending. “I’m not hiding.”

“You are.”

Peter inhaled, then exhaled. “Ok, I was, but only for a few seconds. I just - I needed a break.”

The reception was quiet for being so loud. There was live music and dancing and laughing, but it lacked the sounds of Mr. Stark’s snark, his booming laugh, his semi-rude and uncomfortable nicknames. Peter thought he’d get used to the silence, after a while, but it never truly seemed to go away.

“You miss daddy?” Morgan could always tell when Peter was missing him, even more than May. Peter supposed that made sense. If anyone knew what it looked like to miss Tony Stark, it was his daughter.

“Yeah.”

“Me too,” said Morgan. She let out a breath. “If he were here, he would’ve let me try some of his champagne.”

“And he would have been in trouble for it, too,” said Pepper, coming to the join them, from the other side of the tree.

“Aww mom, I only wanted a little bit to try.” She stood up from the ground, dusted off her clothes, and got a sly look in her eyes. “I’m going to go see what Uncle Rhodey is doing.”

Pepper watched her go, but didn’t stop her, leaving Peter to assume Morgan wouldn’t have any luck with him, either. Pepper gave him a soft sort of smile and sat down next to him, fancy dress in all. Sort of made Peter feel bad, that he was making royalty join him in the dirt.

“How are you doing, kiddo?”

“Good,” said Peter, monotone. “The wedding was… beautiful. Thanks for letting them have it here, I know it means – “

“-Stop it, Peter,” said Pepper. “That fake shit didn’t work with Tony and it isn’t going to work with me.”

Music and laughter drifted over from the area of the yard where the reception was being held. Peter imagined Morgan was being denied champagne and moving onto the next person, whoever that may be.

“Sorry Ms. Potts – “

“-Pepper- “

“Pepper,” he corrected. “It’s just – how are you okay? I mean I can’t keep it – I just really miss him.”

“I suppose it comes and it goes. Morgan and I… we have our days when we’re not.” She shoulder-bumped him. “It’s okay for you to have them, too.” 

“Not on days like today,” said Peter. He should be able to be happy for May, not self-absorbed, sulking by himself.

“ _Especially_ on days like today,” she told him. “Everything’s just so much more – “

“-Quiet.”

“Yeah.” She agreed with a nod. “Tony was so damn loud.”

Peter laughed, though it was a short one. The kind of laugh that broke free only to die away once his brain had time to process that Pepper was speaking in past tense. That they both were. That Mr. Stark was loud, and kind, and wise, in his own strange way, but none of those things belonged to them anymore.

“I lost his watch,” said Peter. The admission forces itself from his chest, makes his voice shake in a way he’d been trying to prevent. “I don’t know where – I just – It’s gone.”

Pepper put her hand over his. “Things like that have a way of turning up.”

Peter sniffed, trying and failing, to conceal the tears that were threatening to fall. He nodded, though he didn’t truly believe her. Sometimes when things were lost they were just lost. His entire life was a lesson in grief, after all.

Pepper stood and offered him a hand up. “You owe my daughter a dance.”

He laughed again, and it lasted longer than time. Felt more genuine, now that he’d had his confession and his guilt could leave.

They went back together, rejoined the reception, and Peter found Morgan pouting in a chair, mumbling something under her breath about her Uncle being boring.

“May I have this dance, miss?” asked Peter, bowing and stretching out his hand.

Morgan smiled and nodded her head. She grabbed ahold of his arm, and they danced. They danced to forget and to remember and because they were both so tired of crying, they needed something new.

Peter’s last dance of the night was with May. She still looked as radiate, as beautiful, as she had when she’d been walking down the aisle, even after hours and hours of the party that preceded the I-dos.

She flicked Peter’s hair from his eyes, the gel he’d put in earlier starting to fail him, and they danced without words. She hugged him goodbye when it was time for her and Happy to leave in the limo, and, before Happy could follow her inside, Peter stopped him with a hand on his arm.

They locked eyes, and Happy nodded with understanding.

“Don’t worry, Pete,” he told him. “I’m gonna keep her safe. The name on the side of the jet is still Stark.”

“Okay,” said Peter, a little breathless. “Yeah, I’ll see you – just have fun.”

Happy nodded at him again, and Peter tried to push down memories of when his parents left on a plane and never came back. Happy was right, though. There was security in a Stark plane, and, not for the first time, Peter felt Mr. Stark was protecting him, protecting his family, from beyond the grave.

*

It was nearing 1 AM when Peter found himself sitting at the end of the dock, with his feet dangling above the water and his suit jacket tossed on the wooden behind him. It was truly quiet. No music. No laughing or chatter or glasses clanking together. Just him and the rippling water and the wind between the trees.

He soaked up the silence long enough to be tired of it by the time Rhodey arrived, carrying a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He eased himself down next to Peter and began to fill them.

“You know I’m glad you decided to spend some time with Morgan and Pepper while your aunt and Happy are off honeymooning,” said Rhodey. The first glass filled, and he moved to the next one. “Give you and Morgan a chance to get to know each other. God knows, if she’s anything like Tony, and she is, she’s going to need a big brother looking after her.”

Rhodey capped the bottle and put it off to the side, then offered Peter one of the glasses. At first Peter just stared at it. He was about to tell Rhodey that he wasn’t twenty-one but sensed that maybe he shouldn’t.

Maybe this was something Rhodey needed.

Peter accepted the glass.

“Tony gave me my first sip of alcohol,” he told him, with a laugh. “When he wasn’t much older than you. Said he loved to party, but really I think he just loved seeing if he could _convince_ me to party.”

“Sounds like him,” said Peter, with a laugh. He looked down at the water and remembered all the times he’d heard Mr. Stark say _lighten up platypus_ to Colonel Rhodes, either on the phone or in person.

Peter shifted his eyes to the glass in his hands and took a drink, thinking that this moment, his first sip of alcohol, was supposed to have been with his father. It was supposed to have been with Ben, and then, it was supposed to have been with Mr. Stark. He took a drink anyway, then promptly spit it all back out.

“That’s disgusting,” said Peter. He put the glass down and wiped his mouth, ignoring Rhodey’s laughs. “Morgan should be thankful.”

“You don’t like it?”

“No offense but I think I’ll stick to juice.”

Rhodey’s barking laughter brought a smile to Peter’s face. “You’re a great kid, Peter. Tones was right about you, and I know he’s watching and he’s proud.”

“You really believe in all that, Colonel?” asked Peter. “You know like ghosts and spirits and the afterlife?”

“Not before,” said Rhodey. “But, Pete, aliens came out of the sky. There’s a talking build-a-bear and a purple monster wiped away life of existence with the snap of his finger.”

“And Mr. Stark brought it back with his.”

“Damn straight,” said Rhodey. He nudged Peter with his elbow. “You were dead, kid, and now we’re sitting here mourning Tony damn Stark.” He shook his head. “Seems impossible for me to _not_ believe in it anymore.”

He gave Peter a pat on the back before standing up, stretching and yawning. “Time to turn in. You good out here?”

“Yeah,” said Peter. “I’ll just be a little longer.”

Rhodey nodded and Peter listened to his footsteps fade away, off the dock and into the yard behind him. He watched the water moved with the wind, felt it on his face, and wished there was a way to know for sure, a way for him to believe that somewhere out those he’d lost were proud of him.

After a few more minutes he pulled himself up off the dock and headed back inside, only to pause at the edge of the dock when he saw Gerald’s silhouette moving around, far from where he was supposed to be, near the barn.

“Oh Gerald,” said Peter, a smile creeping on his face as he walked towards him. “You stubborn animal.” He gave his head scratches once he was close enough. “You’re stubborn, aren’t you?”

Peter narrowed his eyes at something shiny and silver locked in Gerald’s mouth.

“Hey what do you got there?”

He tugged on it, but Gerald wasn’t letting it go. After a few seconds of pulling, he finally released and Peter held his watch – Mr. Stark’s watch – in his hand. A rush of relief, of warmth, of happiness spread through him as he immediately locked it around his wrist where it belonged.

He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and gave Gerald another pet. “I don’t care what Pepper says about you. You’re a good alpaca.”

Gerald looked at him. Stared. Some trees and bushes rustled with the wind.

Peter laughed and pet him again. “Thanks for having my back.”

He headed back up to the porch, where he paused and looked up at the stars, wondering wildly, for the first time, if there was more out there than just space and more space. That maybe Rhodey was right.

**Author's Note:**

> happy Valentine's Day!! thanks for reading!!
> 
> kudos and/or comments let me know what you think!
> 
> [or come yell at me on tumblr](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com)


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